Part II: Building Bonds
Editor’s Note: This guest blog post was submitted by adoptive mother and adult adoptee, Christine Wernquist, who shares their journey in this second installment of a three-part series. With her gracious permission, we have the privilege to feature this beautiful piece with you.
This is the second blog post of a three-part series. My prayer in sharing our story throughout this series is that families who are in the waiting will feel encouraged and to see how God perfectly knit our story together. Disclaimer: Our daughter’s birth mother has given permission to share details of our story. Some details will remain private for the sake of the intimacy of our journey.
In the intricate tapestry of adoption, the threads of connection weave a story unique to each family. For us, the journey began when we were chosen by Brittiany, an extraordinary woman whose decision would forever shape the course of our lives. In this blog post, I invite you to join me as I share our experience of building a relationship with the incredible woman who entrusted us with the privilege of becoming parents.
From the moment our paths crossed, a spark ignited – a shared understanding of the profound emotions surrounding adoption. We were both excited, hopeful, scared, and everything in between. Brittiany and I agreed from the start that no matter what the following months would bring we would promise to always be open and honest with each other. Open communication laid the foundation for trust and mutual respect. As we spent time together, a bond blossomed, connecting our lives in a way we could never have imagined.
My goal going into this experience was to have minimal expectations, only because I truly did not know what to expect. Like many hopeful adoptive parents, I had many fears: fearful of coming across as ingenuine, fearful of her not liking us, fearful of awkward interactions, and the selfish fear of walking away without a child. Ultimately, I was able to set my fears to the side and truly go in with an open heart. No matter the outcome, we believed we were in each other’s lives for a reason. Going in with an open heart was the best decision my husband and I could have made. We learned the delicate balance of being present without overwhelming, listening without judgment, and offering support without strings attached.
As the months went by, we celebrated milestones together – from ultrasound appointments to moving apartments and assembling cribs, and ultimately being invited to experience the birth of our daughter. Engaging in these shared experiences fostered a sense of unity and reassurance for both us and Britiany. Adoption, like any significant life change, presented its share of challenges, of course. By facing challenges together, our bond deepened, proving that unity in the face of adversity strengthens the foundation of any relationship
For Brittiany and I, one of the cornerstones of our relationship is the commitment to honesty and transparency. Sharing our thoughts, fears, and joys openly allowed us to cultivate a relationship built on authenticity. I would encourage all waiting families to foster the same commitment when chosen by an expectant mother.
When I reflect on this time in our adoption journey, I can’t help but think of Ecclesiastes 3:11, which says “He has made everything beautiful in its time”. The friendship and bond that Brittiany and I formed is nothing short of beautiful. To the waiting families, I encourage you to lean into this. God is making your story beautiful in His time.
Ultimately, Brittiany’s decision to choose us was a profound act of trust. As we welcomed the gift of parenthood, we vowed to honor that trust by creating a loving and supportive environment for our daughter. This shared commitment became the cornerstone of our evolving relationship, marking the beginning of a beautiful family story.
*Post contributed by adoptive mother and adult adoptee, Christine Wernquist
